Efficient Beings
by whitetigerwolf
Summary: Harry and Dobby on Voyager. I have no other summary that won't spoil the story. One-Shot. Crack!Story M to be safe, but I personally think T. COMPLETE.


**I Do Not Own Harry Potter or Star Trek: Voyager.**

 **So I was reading the story, She Who Hesitates is Lost, by Lisa Countryman, arguably one of my favorite Star Trek Stories (the story can be found at for those of you interested, though I must warn you if you don;t like it, it's a femslash site and the story is Seven/B'Elanna) and it inspired me to try brainstorming a HP/Voyager story. I came up with an idea, and as I began to develop it, my usual problem when it came to Voyager showed itself...Seven or B'Elanna? I love both characters. Anyway, I resolved my issue, choosing Seven for various reasons, yet I was still trying to come up with a way for Harry to befriend B'Elanna. Then I came up with this ridiculous idea, which sadly would not work in the story I was planning out. So I share it here in this one-shot, for everyone's amusement.**

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Harry Potter sighed in relief as he finished the first sip of his whiskey.

It wasn't single-malt scotch, but for being brewed on a spaceship, millions of light-year's from earth, with the aid of magic and his excitable house-elf Dobby, it was pretty good.

He had just relaxed back into his chair, when the door opened and his wife of three month's, B'Elanna Potter 'nee Torres, entered the room. The Chief Engineer of Voyager had a grin on her face when she saw him, a grin that only widened when she saw what he had in his hands. "Is that the whiskey?" she asked.

Harry grinned. "It sure is. Dobby and I finished our first batch this afternoon. The Captain was gracious enough to allow the two of us the first bottles, and Dobby gave me his."

"And what are you doing with it?"

"I put it in storage to age and celebrate a later anniversary with," he answered. "Especially since Janeway is going to be rather stringent on distributing the stuff. She doesn't want any of the crew to become alcoholics after-all." He poured a second glass, and held it out to her.

Taking the glass, B'Elanna took a sip. Smiling, she said, "Letting you and Dobby take of hydroponics was the best decision Janeway has ever made. First we get fresh vegetables and fruit almost daily, then you somehow manage to store and butcher large supplies of fresh meat. And now the two of you have given us the joys of alcohol. If we weren't already married, I may have to fight others for you..." she paused a moment in thought and added, "I still might have to come to think about it."

Harry chuckled.

"Well the whiskey's not the only news of note...apparently Dobby's found himself a girlfriend...You don;t look as surprised as I thought you'd be," he added when he saw her grin widen.

"That's because I walked in on him and his girlfriend before coming here."

Harry would have spit out his whiskey, if he had any in his mouth. "You did? Where? And most important, who the bloody hell is she?"

"I stopped by Cargo Bay 2 to speak to Seven about some of the suggestion she had for the ship," B'Elanna explained. "Dobby was there already...and the two were otherwise engaged."

"Dobby...and Seven?" Harry questioned, right before snorting. "Well, I never saw that one. I wonder what she see's in him?"

"We can only guess," B'Elanna said, before draining her whiskey. Setting the glass down, B'Elanna stood up. "But enough about Seven's love life. I just got off of a long day of work, and could use a shower...maybe I could find someone to join me," she said as she walked to the fresher.

Harry drained his glass in one gulp before following his wife.

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 **Meanwhile in Cargo Bay 2**

Seven of nine collapsed next to her partner in exhaustion.

"I am glad you are so efficient Dobby." Seven said tiredly, unable to move after her seventh orgasm.

"Dobby is glads to be's of service," the little elf said happily, even as he began dressing the exhausted part-Borg before placing her in her alcove.

After lovemaking like that, Seven needed to regenerate. But she was pleased to find a being as efficient as her.

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 **Let's be honest, we're now jealous of Dobby.**

 **Just a funny thought that passed through my head. Hope you enjoyed. Please Review, and Check Out the Challenges in My Forums (Link on Profile), and the Stories I have up for Adoption Under the Title:** ** _Please Adopt Me!_**


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